ex wants to be friends after years

Even though she went their things were actually going pretty well between her and me for a month, until she started meeting new people and I started feeling the need for her time, because of which we had arguments and where she ended up breaking up with me, rather she said we may come back in a relationship after her 1-year master or 3-5 years down the line, she further said that she wants to be friends with me and doesnt wanna end up talking. He has no intentions of staying friendly . But she has become a person I almost dont recognize in some ways.. Allow Yourself Time to Grieve. What makes your ex any different? His wife died almost a year ago so I know he is wanting to take things slow. Right back to the person we are comfortable with. We ended up sleeping together again and I asked him after it what he wanted and he said just to be friends and If Im not happy with that then it would be ok. We hadnt said anything to each other all day, and he put one of those YOLO things on his story where people send you messages anonymously. In reality, its much, much less than that. Do those things and well work to get you out of the friend zone. To reiterate, instead of pretending to be your exs friend and becoming needy by contacting him and asking him various questions, you should quickly accept the friendship and immediately lay low. This can happen with relationships that lasted a long time or a short time. Accepting your exs friendship and turning up the neediness is never going to work. This article may be useful to you https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/episode12/. We then spoke on the phone and he mentioned that it was so nice to hear my voice, but if we pursue a friendship we cant go into it with expectations or our fingers crossed. By doing earning trust via the conversations you have. Breakups are not easy, so that it may affect your mental health. What does this mean..? You have to be careful with the friend zone so I suggest a coaching session. A relationship with no commitments and the freedom to look elsewhere is a convenient prospect; it provides them with the best of both worlds. It is probably a mess in your head right now. Your ex might want to remain friends instead of having a romantic relationship with you, as they might just want to have sex with you with no strings attached . 1. 2 you no longer want to be with him. Then once complete you start the texting phase. Make sure you remain honest if you decide to speak. We have a circle of mutual friends. She replied and offered friendship, which I rejected politely. Where do we come running when this happens? If a Woman Wants to Keep You as a Friend, Don't Agree to it. It could be hard to suddenly terminate contact with someone who has been a regular feature in your daily life. She has been trying to be friends with me knowing I love her and still want to have a life together in the future. Your ex isnt the one that should determine your actions; you have to follow your heart. I have been sensing that she may be letting a guy pursue her or being on dates. My Husband Still Works With The Woman He Had An Affair With. Youre going to take advantage of thistherefore keep in touch. If its better to not be in conflict with your ex, does it mean that its a good idea to be buddies?! When I pitched the idea of getting back he said he cant just leave the girl he is with because she hasnt done anything wrong to him. Hey, I broke up with my ex, who we were so compatible with..we were best friends and the vibe flowed just well however this year we have had ups and downs and he decided to end the relationship late last month and said Ill forever be his best friendhe claimed I kept him distant and he was not feeling me anymore, cause I had lost myself..he has made it clear that he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me anymore, but well hang around as friends..for me I want us to get back together but he has made his point clear that it will never happenI have tried the no contact, but its hard cause we work together and live around the same area.. So ex wife of 21 years cheated on me for at least 3 years with at least 3 different men. Another reason why people want to stay in close contact with a former partner after a breakup is guilt. Its not uncommon when an ex still wants to be friends after a breakup, but its not always easy for the other person to understand. Others will avoid you like the plague. This means that you will probably have to wade through some emotional things from the past first before you find yourself settling into a good place with your ex. The interest level of this person has to be so high it evens out with your disinterest. 1. People are appalled when I say what Im about to say but quite frankly I dont believe there is any other way to look at it. For example, if you do 30% of initiating, your ex must do 70%. BUT we've got 3 kids together. It suddenly dawned upon your ex that they enjoyed various advantages while in a relationship with you. 1. 5 possible reasons why: 1. She wasnt ready for this relationship thats one of the problems. . If not, he will not. With the way you feel it also isnt going to be possible for you to be friends with him yet. I often mention that dumpees hold a lot more power than they are initially aware of. He even said we will get a divorce. That same night we started FaceTimed as friends again all night. In essence, they are using you for emotional support and it makes total sense seeing as how they just went through a breakup. Things like well always be together and stay friends for life if we breakup are irrelevant. As a general rule, even when youre saying, My ex is coming back, I really recommend that you dont get in bed with them unless youre in one particular situation that I explain in my book 70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex. The mix of anxiety and fear of loss, genuinely make you think this is a once in a lifetime opportunity a bargain deal, meant for you to take it. Your ex did not realize it earlier, but now they seem to see it. There are all kinds of reasons why an ex wants to be friends, but one thing is for sure and that is that they still care about you. Go back to only sending streaks without opening his snaps? I am so angry but our daughters have missed their mother. Set boundaries if you consider being friends with them so that it would not affect your current or future relationships. At some point he has to move on! Why does my 30F ex bf 31M want to be friends after breaking up with me? He will not provide you with the same amount of attention as before when you were in a relationship. But now he keeps calling talking about a possible friendship. If you want to get back together you have to create a means of getting closer, spending time together, but you're not going to try to establish friendship. As soon as I left him alone and gave no contact, he started to reach out. If your narcissist ex wants to remain your friend soon after a breakup or even contacts you to establish a friendship years down the road, save yourself the grief and just dont do it. I went no contact for 37 days and he texted me two days ago and therefore broke no contact. 13) Remember, that forgiveness is vital. Signs Your Ex-Girlfriend Will Eventually Come Back. Some individuals enjoy being the dominating one. For the first week we talked and hung out but now we dont talk at all. It's almost a year since the divorce went through and I get a message out of the blue from her: She has a background in school psycholo more, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on new parenting, marriage, and relationships. However, I think one thing we can universally agree on is that if you are in the friend zone you have some work to do before you can be trusted enough to have powerful conversations that are meaningful enough for your ex to consider you a lover again. "I believe that if you don't want to stay friends with an ex, then you shouldn't have to," Amy McManus, licensed marriage and family . When youve got an ex that wants to be friends, the very first step is to figure out exactly what you want deep down. Learn how your comment data is processed. Your relationship ended because it wasn't working. Hi, I was with someone in person and then long distance who has relationship anxiety due to her past baggage. You are, however, taken by surprise at your exs attempts to get closer. -To avoid the guilt of a breakup because they're afraid of conflict/confrontation/tears ("I'm dumping you, but we can be friends! It has been 3 months, I have been in contact with her. So, I let him back in. Each time you have a conversation with your ex you need to take a look at this scale and slowly move up it until you get to the sharing feelings bit. You will in all likelihood, be starting off with a whole lot more baggage than what brand new couples would be. Hold on a minute. You have to give her that space and forget about being her friend. You may ask why I eat them, even when I know they will make me sick. It might be something emotional and romantic or it could be something as practical as sharing the fuel expenses or using that club membership card that you had; in any case, your ex misses the perks of being a part of your life. Looking for almost a friends with benefits situation where they dont get the commitment of a relationship. There is a type of relationship between exes that you may not have been expecting. So why call me? Together, we were able to reverse it, but it was an uphill battle from the get-go. (I agree with them on that front). Make use of the push-pull dynamics, and allow him to do most of the work. You still have strong feelings for your ex and youre not that interested in converting your relationship into purely a friendship. Fast forward to today. She reached out after a week with an indirect direct approach. If you want . I agreed, and then after we just didnt speak for two weeks aside form sending streaks on Snapchat-and I never opened his, trying to follow No Contact. Yes, this is a real gem of a reason to be friends with an ex. At the time of the breakup, he told me he still cared for me, and wanted me to be his friend and stay in his life because he genuinely liked me as a person. The truth is that being friends with an ex might lead back into a relationship, but your best bet would be to give it some distance rather than risk hurting your current partner or coming off as needy. It is not a good idea to be friends with your ex just because they are afraid of change. Theres nothing you can do right now that will make her see your worth. After one fight he said he needed space . Its not that I want agency over her body, but I have it as a little show of dedication. hey..my ex and me broke up a few months ago..i am doing no contact but he is hinting he just wants to be friends with me..even after no contact..what should i do..? Cut him off, live your live and limit his exposure to your life. Unfortunately, its a black or white situation. Reasons Why Guys Want To Be Friends After Breaking Up. Two days later he messaged me upset that I unadded him and that we thought I didnt want to be friends. Could I accept her back into my life? He said that we should hang out sometime, and I should let him know when I was free, but I didnt commit to anything and told him I was busy for the next two weeks. As Im sure youve understood, this article is principally about getting back together. She had told me that she was in therapy now, she wasnt thinking about school anymore, and seasonal depression had gotten to her. The easiest way to tell if a guy is using you for sex or intimacy after a breakup is if he was the one to end your relationship and if he tends to be distant except for when he wants to be intimate with you. However, let me point out the proverbial fly in the ointment, its going to complicate things. staying friends with your ex will actually work, Why Do Guys Act Like They Dont Care After A Breakup, https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/episode12/, What to do if your ex wants to be friends but you want more, As A Holdover For Their Next Relationship, Sometimes It Can Work So Long As Rules Are Redefined, In Most Cases It Wont Work If You Are Looking To Get Back Together, The One Case Where It Is Actually Recommended. Ill be the best person I can be, and Ill try to be a good friend to my ex. Related Articles: With 30 years of experience in the field, she provides therapy for couples and individuals - young and mature. 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